On Hugh Hefner and the “P” Word

addictions 2

As a friend recently told me, we as a society tend to turn a blind eye towards issues and it’s only when the “issue” is unable to be a threat to us that we then confess our opinions.

With the recent news of Hugh Hefner’s death (for those who don’t know Hugh Hefner, here’s a recent article listing his “accomplishments” in life), an issue has been brought to life by many bystanders — the issue of the “P” word. Pornography. So many people have known about pornography and its affects, but so many have turned a blind eye. Why?

I believe it’s because we think that anyone who looks at pornography is typically a man. For some reason, as a society we tend to check off the it’s-okay-box for men to look at porn. We tend to think, “oh, men have needs and it’s okay for them to satisfy themselves through lusting after a mother/daughter/sister/child that they don’t know.” Because, yes, those women are mothers/daughters/sisters/children. The men who are porn stars are also fathers/sons/brothers/children. It’s time to call those “objects of lust” a living soul.

But I have a news flash for all of you — men are NOT the only ones who look at pornography. Unofficial statistics from multiple sources prove that roughly 1 out of 3 women view pornography at least once a week.

In this post, I want to get real with you guys.

I was part of that statistic. I struggled with an addiction to pornography for nearly ten years.

Ten. Stinking. Years.

Ten perverted, twisted, confusing years of my life. How many other people have struggled with the same addiction? Is it a shock to you that I’m a female that struggled with an addiction to pornography? Is it hard to believe that someone you know used to view pornography? Because trust me, there are multiple other men AND women that you know who view porn.

It’s time for us to take a stand against the perversion and twisted attacks from the enemy. I’m sick and tired of sitting back and not saying anything. I’m tired of keeping my mouth closed when I should be defending others. I’m tired of watching friends struggle with an addiction and not help them pick up their sword to fight. I’m tired of society deeming  pornography as a “norm”. More than any of that, I’m tired of the enemy having the upper hand when it comes to the hyper sexualization of our society.

As Christians, it’s time to take a stand for what’s right. If you struggled with an addiction that you overcame, don’t sit back silently. Open your mouth and equip those around you that are struggling.

As for the porn addiction I struggled with — yes, it was an addiction and we need to call it what it is — I was finally set free when I realized that Jesus’s blood paid the price for my addiction. I didn’t want to be in that bondage any longer. I didn’t want to feel like someone else was controlling my desires. I didn’t want to struggle with the heaviness that shame brings. I wanted to be done with it, but it had such a stronghold on my life that I needed help to breakthrough the addiction.

If you’re like I was and find yourself struggling to get out of an addiction to pornography, I have a few tips to help you get to a place of freedom.

1. Tell someone. Open your mouth and confess that you have an addiction and want help out of it. Like any addiction, you need someone that will help keep you accountable. Preferably someone of the same gender as you and someone who is wise enough to also counsel you out of the addiction. It would be even better if it’s someone who is willing to pray with you regularly.

2. Read your Bible. This really is the most important step, but I know the struggle of opening the Bible when dealing with an addiction. Once you’re able to confess your addiction out loud, you’ve already begun your process of winning against the enemy. Now you’re able to open the Bible and read what God says about addictions.

3. Remind yourself of Whose you are. Once you confess there’s an addiction in your life, open your Bible and read about the struggle of strongholds, then remind yourself of what God says about you. As a Christian, if you don’t believe that you’re an heir to the King and have the same power that Jesus had to overcome the enemy, then you’ll never be able to overcome any addictions. If you don’t know already, then let me inform you — as a Christian, you have the power to turn to the devil and tell him to go back to hell and to leave you alone. You have the power to rebuke the enemy out of your thoughts and out of every area of your life that he’s been controlling.

Instead of giving in to the addiction and apologizing to God the next day, turn to your addiction and tell it to go away, then turn to God and praise Him. Thank Him for the power that He gives to you as a believer to overcome.

Another thing that helped me with overcoming the stronghold in my life was to write scriptures on notecards and reflect on them during times of temptation. Here are a few scriptures I reflected on:

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”
– Psalm 9:9

“But the Lord has become my stronghold,and my God the rock of my refuge.”
– Psalm 94:22

“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble;he knows those who take refuge in him.”
– Nahum 1:7

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
– Matthew 6:13

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God…”
– John 1:12

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”
– Romans 6:6

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”
– 1 Corinthians 10:13

“So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.”
– Galatians 4:7

You CAN overcome an addiction to pornography through the redeeming blood of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. As someone who has been there, let me encourage you by saying that the moment you decide to say no to porn, is the moment you take a step closer to freedom. Freedom. Ah, what a lovely word.

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