During devotion time this morning, a passage from the Bible that I’m sure we’ve all read stuck out to me. A passage that speaks directly to me and what I’m currently facing.
“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
– Isaiah 40:29-31
A couple weeks ago I was scammed and lost almost all of my money. It’s a long and grievous story that I don’t enjoy repeating when people ask what happened. I felt dumb, stupid, naive, and angry afterwards. The worst part about getting scammed was the timing. If it had been any other time, I wouldn’t have cared so much. However, I have attorney fees, daycare fees, and bills to pay in a couple weeks. I’m saving for a trip to Israel. I’m saving for at least a million other things, and now it’s all gone. I have absolutely no idea how any bills will be paid this month (or the next month for that matter). I’m drained emotionally and physically.
Before I even opened my Bible this morning, I told God I’m not sure what His plan is in all of this, but that I’m learning to release all control and trust Him. I said that I’m exhausted in every possible way. Then I read Isaiah 40.
Even though I’m drained; even though I don’t want to endure another day without money going into my bank account; even though I see myself doubt that God will provide for me, I won’t forget the times that God did provide. I fully believe there’s a reason for everything. I believe I was getting to a place of familiarity and comfort. I was too focused on myself and what I could get for me, me, me. Now that money is out of the way, I have no one else to focus on but Jesus.
I’ve never acknowledged myself as a person that ‘serves money’, but now that it’s gone, I can see that money was subtly becoming my god. Maybe that’s why all of this has happened. Maybe God was trying to show me He wasn’t first.
Matthew 6:19-21 says we shouldn’t store up treasures on earth where thieves break in and steal; it says where our treasure is, there is our heart also. I was putting a bigger emphasis on my earthly treasures rather than Jesus. Am I saying that every person who focuses more on money than on Jesus will lose all of their money? No. Am I saying that Jesus doesn’t want us to have money? No. What I am saying is that if we don’t allow Jesus to penetrate all ‘gods’ in our lives – such as money – we will fall. I’m just glad God got my attention now and I didn’t become a Matthew 19 man –
“Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.” “Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, “ ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?” Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” – Matthew 19:16-24
Even though I’m completely exhausted and wish the next few weeks were over with so I don’t have to think about them anymore, I’m trusting God. No more doubt. No more questioning if finances will be met. I serve an all-knowing and all-powerful God that knows the number of hairs on my head. He cares to know every single detail in my life – big and small. If God is for me and wants the best for my life, then why would I dare doubt him?
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
– Matthew 6:19-21
“Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
– Mark 11:23-24