Take-out Tuesday’s

The idea of Take-out Tuesday’s is to take out the trash of the past (personal or not) and put it all on the line for the world to see and help others move on; so others can see they’re not alone.  I have hopes that this blog will one day be popular enough that people will post in the comments their own problems from the past to help others.

So to kick off the first Take-out Tuesday, I’m going to start us off with a short story, but hopefully uplifting to someone.

I used to be an innocent, little girl that loved twirling in my dress outside under a beautiful sky.  I’d go pick wildflowers and catch love bugs.  I used to be so naive and ready to take on the world.  I was so empowered and ready…  Or so I thought.

It wasn’t until life forced me into situations I didn’t want to be in that I started turning less innocent, and more skeptical.  I was lied to, taken advantage of, and told I’m less than.  I started believing I wasn’t worthy of a good life; I believed every lie.  The view I saw in a mirror was nothing but horror to me.  My self-esteem was so low that any slight glance my way from a boy or girl made me blush.

I had issues with things that had happened to me and I didn’t talk to anyone about them.  I let my emotions and thoughts about the past fester up inside of me to the point it started outwardly showing.  My face started to break out, I started eating more thus adding to my overall weight, and I didn’t care as much about keeping up with my physical appearance.  I got to the point that I wanted to act on those festering emotions.

I started forcing myself to throw up.  It wasn’t because I thought I was fat (although I did have a poor self image of myself), but because I thought I could throw up the ugly that was inside of me.

This didn’t last for very long, but it was still one of the many struggles I dealt with.  It wasn’t until years later that I finally understood the concept of who God is and what He’s done for me.  It’s when I try to visualize Jesus being nailed to the cross that I’m drawn to my knees.  I can’t help but be humbled when I think of how He hung on a cross by rusty nails that were pierced into each of His hands and pierced into His feet.  I tear up when I think of how badly He was beaten – beaten for ME.  He not only died for me and you, but He suffered… for US.

Jesus went to the cross so I wouldn’t have to go through the things I dealt with alone.  Why would I not want to take advantage of that and serve Him?

There’s a quote by C.S. Lewis that I love.  I believe it paints the perfect picture for describing Christ dying on the cross as not being a “get out of pain free card”, but as someone who has been there and willing to help; He’s given us the tools to face every trial we go through.

“God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain.” – C.S. Lewis

If you’re hurting or going through a situation you feel no one else is dealing with, know that you’re not alone.  Most likely there are even friend’s of yours that are going through the same situation but are afraid to speak up.  Be the first to say something.  You’re not alone, don’t let them believe they are, too.  If you need to talk, please feel free to email me at any time.  I’ll reply as quickly as I can.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” -Psalm 34:18

xoxo, Taylor

Email: taylorcedarleaf@gmail.com

5 responses to “Take-out Tuesday’s

  1. Hey this came in my head but I would want to be a kardashian so..first I would be pretty, and able to have personal trainers and personal chefs to keep me pretty-and second, I would want to turn around all the enormous amount of attention that is placed on me and my family towards pursuing Jesus-mission trips…showing people that you can be pretty, popular and love Jesus! I would use a lot of my money for cosmetic and clothing sales and reality show stuff to help people. Silly I know!

    • That’s not silly, I love it! I love how you said “…turn around all the enormous amount of attention that is placed on me and my family towards pursuing Jesus.” That’s awesome! I wouldn’t mind being a Kardashian for that reason 🙂

  2. Taylor I really love reading your blogs-definitely can identify-I never made myself throw up but I purposely kept myself heavy as a child to avoid being abused-didn’t work-happened anyway-I love how open you are!

    • Thank you so much for being open with ME! I don’t want this blog to be about me, but about other’s seeing they’re not alone. I want other people who struggle with the same issues to know that there is hope. Thanks so much for the feedback.

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